Assalamu'alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
How are you doing dear friends? We pray that you are always in good health and in your highest iman. On 22nd February 2011, some of us had a chance to attend the monthly Islamic Studies by Noor Magazine at their office. The topic that was discusses is about "ISLAMIC MARRIAGE".
The Importance of Marriage
As we all know, marriage in Islam is very important. It is said that by being married, we are considered have done half of our deen (religion). As the Prophet Muhammad SAW (peace upon Him) said, "Any man whom Allah provides with a virtuous wife has been helped to half his deen (religion), so he should fear Allah regarding to other half".
One of the motivations for us to get married is to save our generations. An aspect of Allah's love for the human race lies in enabling them to have children perpetuate the human species. The child is the goal of both the legal contact and the physical pleasure it sanctions. However, there is no pleasure in the life of the Muslim, which does not entail subsequent responsibility as shown in this case by the upbringing of children (based on Surah Ar-Ra'd : 38).
Also a hadits says:
"Groups of people who are saved by Allah SWT are those who do Jihad in Allah's way; those who are looking for redemption of himself to be independent; those who want to get married because they want to maintain their honor".
When a person has fulfilled proper circumstances for marriage such as maturity, financial resources, and a virtuous woman. Then, it is suggested for them to not postponing their marriage. marriage is sunnah; it is full of blessing; it gives you fortune, it is favoured by Allah SWT. Marriage raised our dignity.
Marriage gives repose and delight to the soul since sitting with, looking at, and playing with one's spouse allows the heart to relax and strengthens it for worship (based on Surah Ar-Rum : 22).
It provides an arena for combating and diciplining the lower self through taking care of the family and looking after their needs, putting up with their faults and failings, and striving to bring them up well and guide them to the right path. The prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said : "What a man spends on his family is sadaqa". He said, "A man is rewarded for the mouthful he gives to his wife".
Baiti Jannati: "my home is my heaven"
What is the point of us being respected and appreciated by people outside, but in fact we cannot take care our own marriage or family.
How to keep our marriage Sakinah, Mawaddah, and Warrahmah? Here are some tips:
- We have to be proporsional in seeing problems that's happening within the marriage life.
- We cannot forget our responsibilities and do things arbitrarily, although we are at the state of mad or resentful (based on Surah An-Nisa : 128, 130)
- When we are mad or being resentful with our husband, remember, the goal of marriage is for worshipping Allah SWT.
- If a husband and a wife fighting, don't let the fighting takes place up beyond the prayer times. For example: if the fight during Zuhur, they have to be at peace again when Ashar prayer time comes.
- A husband who does not satisfy his wife's inner and outer properly is a husband with a very low dignity.
- Washing dishes, mopping floor, house work jobs are a worship field, a charity field, but those are not abligations. The obligation of wife is to serve the husband and the most important obligation is when the husband asks the wife to satisfy him.
- If there is a woman friend with a bad behaviour and is asked by a husband. A husband has the responsibility to keep us from the bad influence and a wife is obligated to follow her husband's suggestion.
- A wife has a right to an income earned by her husband and a wife must be able to manage the income so it can fit for daily needs. An income earned by the wife is fully earned by the wife; husband has no right in it.
- Hence a wife must be smart, read a lot, learn a lot, but always stay humble and modest. be careful of getting knowledge from Internet and other sources of knowledge.
- A sakinah familiy is when the husband and wife can see the worst of their couple as something good behind it.
- Before we get married, we do taaruf. The process of taaruf is an everyday process, when we're already married, the taaruf process keeps continue because a person's behaviour is changing, so we have always learn and adapt (based on Surah Al-Hujarat : 13).
- There are times for parents to be authoritarian and there are times for them to be democratic. Authoritarian means parents have to be firm, especially when it comes to religion (obligation). But as parents, we cannot only ordering our children without showing them how. Parent have to be a role model in the daily life, they have to show examples.
That was the summary of our Islamic Study group with Noor Magazine. Hope you all enjoy reading it and gain knowledge about islamic marriage :) have a good day, insya allah our marriage always be Sakinah, Mawaddah, Warrahmah, amin.
Wassalamu'alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
Written by: Noria Hasibuan
Editor: Wulandari Sofwan
Photographed by: Nalia Rifika
Digital Imaging by: Ola Fadly